12.17.08

I am going to write it down, as much of it as I can, so I don’t forget any of it.

...for the millionth time in the history of feeling, the heart surges, and absorbs the impact" this history of darkness."

"i like to think the world wasn’t ready for me, but maybe the truth is that i wasn't ready for the world. i've always arrived too late for my life" history of love

"her kiss was the question he wanted to spend his whole life answering." history of love

"...in the most important moment of his life he had chosen the wrong sentence.." history of love

"he ran his fingers down her spine- over her thin blouse, and for a moment he forgot the danger he was in, grateful for the world which purposefully puts divisions in place so that we can overcome them, feeling the joy of getting closer, even if deep down we can never forget the sadness of our insurmountable differences." history of love

AGE OF GLASS where the body is fragile, we our introduced to changes within our bodies transforming from a child into an adult, and even though this is uncomfortable and a little embarrassing, we grow up and change just a millimeter a day. Although it feels the changes happen in just a matter of hours. i remember being a child, and out of no where i woke up and was five inches taller, and 20 pounds lighter. I was no longer physically awkward, but strangely immature to the world that was new, and all around me. My relationships became more than just going to a friends house to play with babies, but of those that impacted a sense of being made of glass, my new body was sturdy but my heart was fragile and fostered.

I think a lot of the past, and what a mess of it I was. The last few days have made me feel like I was fifteen years old, from walking to different stores, reading books, and listening to music. While i listen to music i stare off into the space between my eyes and the tin ceiling. This allows me to devour aspects of the song and songs. I am able to describe details to patterns of walking, thinking, and being. It really is amazing. When I was actually 15, my friends and I couldn't drive, so we would get dropped off at the mall of upper peach street. From here we would go to a movie, salvation army, and media play. Then devour some form of food, those we some really good times. The wildest part of it-is that i haven’t recalled memories like these, till know, and why now? Am i that homesick, that anything will keep me close to it and the people I love? I sure hope so.